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All That Has Never Been True

by ULTHA

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1.
Dispel 05:19
Can I bury my shame in you? Can I bury my heart there too? All I wanted to tell you, all I wanted to say, is something you always knew. I've been to hell, the gates I saw, never again like never before. Put to the torch, the taste of rust and all I saw destroyed was us.
2.
Ponder! So finite, so small. Nearer to nothing I walk, I crawl. Disintegrate my thoughts. I fail, I fall. But you and I, we've been through that like severed limbs that we once had. So many demons, so many hells, living on the outside of everything else. But you and I, we've felt all that, like all the throes that we once had. So many demons, so many hells, living on the inside of everyone else. It will be coming forever: no more time than time itself.
3.
Fate up against my will, pore over it for days on end. I know I can't stop what you began. You see me but you never saw the side of love you didn't want to know. A long lost dream with new veneer this silence is more than all my fear. Dry the marrow from the bones it gleams as dark as stars are stone. Die into them and leave your breath, this is what you wanted and thus shall have.
4.
- instrumental -
5.
Some set the world on fire so they feel warm for a little while. It's all in there, aspired. Some are born to wander blind and some are born to endless night. It's all in us, desired. Another life, all gone. We are meant to fear, for as long as we are here. Nothing that we seem to know or even understand. To bury our faces once again, until the dark air's like fire on our skin, until even the moonlight is blinding.
6.
Once and for all. Alone with the questions of when or how. Today and tomorrow, the caskets that we know. Each passing moment diverts to follow its own course ever so strangely. Mourn the sleepless children, in shapelessness we are one. My half-toned existance, my half-lit world, twilight after twilight after twilight.
7.
Days full of doubt, nights full of sorrow ...it will all end now. Don't you stand at my grave, waiting, for I will not be there. I never wanted what life wanted from me I never wanted what life gave to me This beautiful lie of a mother's womb - the pious trick, for it's the tomb. Just like the small shadows, hissing across the lawn only to get lost in the sunset, no two times are alike, no two fates are the same. We are the first to fall. Salvation waits for noone and soon I will forget that the world has forgotten about me. Weathered consoler, hideous to behold Gaunt immortality in black and gold. I don't want to know what's on the other side. What's lost in the fire I will find in the ashes of who I used to be, for now I am settled in a world where it's always dead with darkness and alive with light.

about

"It is not to be thought that the life of darkness is sunk in misery and lost as if in sorrowing. There is no sorrowing. For sorrow is a thing that is swallowed up in death, and death and dying are the very life of the darkness." (J.Boehme in C.McCarthy's Blood Meridian)

credits

released April 1, 2022

"All That Has Never Been True" was written between the suns of 2020 and the withers of 2021. Recorded and mixed by A.Rosczyk at Goblin Sound Studio. Mastered by J.Viitalähde at Virtalähde Mastering. Artwork and design by T.Hahn. Released by Vendetta Records. All songs written by Ultha, all words by R.Schmidt. Ultha are A.Rosczyk, C.Noir, L.Ennsen, M.Schaub and R.Schmidt.

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ULTHA Cologne, Germany

"Forever settled in a world that's dead with darkness and alive with light".

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